By Anna Comstock

Where hockey’s intensity meets UFC’s physicality and NASCAR’s speed, you will find the Roller Rebels, Long Island’s premiere, all-female roller derby league. With creative freedom when it comes to uniform fashions (several skaters wear fishnet stockings with short shorts or skirts) and alias skate names like Regine Bull, Eve L. Taco and Cyanide Kisses, these athletes mean business, while still maintaining an air of fun femininity.

Roller derby is an organized sport governed by the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA). “When roller derby first started it wasn’t real. It was all choreographed on a banked track. But now there are rules we follow and it’s a real, tough thing,” said the veteran skater and coach who goes by MadDonna. Today, leagues play on all kinds of flat tracks, from hardwood, to sport court, to concrete, and WFTDA facilitates the standards of rules and guidelines to be used during competition. Chest Blockwell, skater, coach, assistant captain and director of public relations, said, “People think that roller derby is just a bunch of girls smashing into each other. It’s not. It’s a lot of strategy. You’re basically playing offense and defense at the same time.”

The Roller Rebels’ league is currently in its fourth season and is owned by the skaters. “We have some sponsors, but for the most part it’s a self-sustaining league so we get our money through our dues and fundraisers,” said Chest Blockwell. The league is comprised of 30 women broken into three teams: the Wicked Wheelers of the West, the East End Ladies of Laceration, and the Mid Island Rolling Thundercats. Chest Blockwell said, “We haven’t broken into our teams yet. We will do that in the next couple of weeks. The other coaches and I will take three players of equal ability and split them up. So the three best blockers go to three different teams, and so on and so forth. This process gets competitive, but we remind ourselves constantly that this is a fun game regardless of rivalries.”

This season, the Roller Rebels have a good mix of veteran players who have been skating for at least a year, and fresh bloods (newly inducted members). It takes several months and the passage of both a skills and a written test to become eligible to play in bouts (roller derby’s term for game or match). “The coaches make sure you’re ready before you get anywhere near the inside of the track during scrimmages and bouts. I don’t think people realize how challenging it really is. It takes about a year to even be okay at it,” said Red SnapHer, a fresh blood who has been skating for about five months.

Since the official team division has not yet occurred, the coaches split all bout-ready players into two teams for their sold-out, home opener exhibition bout on May 16. “The bout was amazing. We all came together as a team. I see the rest of the season against each other as going very well, too” said Chest Blockwell. Each league sets its own home season, and the Roller Rebels’ generally runs from May to November, averaging about one home bout per month. The next one is on July 11. They then have two more before the Championship Bout on October 24.

In addition to the three home teams, the Roller Rebels also have a 20-member travel team that competes in interleague play with some of the more than 200 leagues in the country. The travel team has already competed in three interleague bouts this year. They lost their first two before defeating the Green Mountain Derby Dames 161-89 on May 9. They have four more interleague bouts this season. The next one is on June 13 against Pennsylvania’s Dutchland Rollers.

Although the travel team ended up ranking last in their region in 2008 with two wins and five losses, their outlook for this season is high. MadDonna is a member of the travel team and said, “This season we’re going to be very competitive. Everyone is improving and picking up the skills and rules really quickly, which is great. These new girls and everyone that’s in the league right now are very positive. You see other people want to do well and then you want to do well. It really helps everyone out.” Even the fresh bloods are excited about the travel team’s prospects. Red SnapHer said, “The travel team seems to be matched up pretty well. I won’t say that means they blow everyone away, but so far they’ve been matched pretty evenly.”

Bouts consist of two, 30-minute halves. “During bouts your adrenaline kicks in. Everything goes really fast. You don’t know who you’re hitting and you don’t know who’s hitting you, you just know that you’ve got to hit. When you knock someone down and everyone screams it’s great. We feed off the crowd,” said MadDonna. The Roller Rebels also bring in a variety of entertainment for breaks during bouts. Red SnapHer said, “It’s a great night. It’s not expensive, and there is usually a band or DJ and a lot of action.” Chest Blockwell also promised a garlic knot-eating contest during a break sometime this season.

The Roller Rebels practice year-round, anywhere from two to four days each week. In addition to their busy bout and practice schedule, they are actively involved in the community. Chest Blockwell said, “We try to give back. We have a lot of people that come to our bouts, so we try to do the same and support them in what they do. We had a charity bout last November for Schneider Children’s Hospital and donated $2,200 to them. We’ll have another charity bout towards the end of this season, but we don’t know who the charity is going to be yet.”