Matt Maher Righting A Tragic Wrong

Saturday, 21 August 2010 11:07

By Steven A. Grieco

“I’m that guy.” It’s a phrase Matthew Maher will never use lightly.

The 25 year-old stellar athlete and graduate of Temple University in Philadelphia, became, in his own words, “that guy” when while under the influence of alcohol killed a father of six in March of 2009.

Maher, who grew up in a strong Christian home, was always taught the difference between right and wrong. “My dad was in law enforcement my entire youth and my mom was a stay home mom. She kept me grounded to make sure I would make good decisions,” said Maher.

Maher refers to his relationship with his brothers at a young age as being “very competitive.” “I had three older brothers and they were not only my friends but my competitors,” said Maher. Due to that competitive nature while growing up, young Matthew excelled on the soccer field. “When I was 7 years old, I played against 10 year-olds. By the age of 12, I had the choice to either play for my local club in Cape May or play for a team in Pittsgrove, N.J., which was one of the best teams on the entire east coast,” recalled Maher. “I sat down with my dad and decided what was best for me and my future. It was the first big decision I had to make but I had the luxury of not having to make it alone.”

At the age of 16, Maher was only one of twenty two players to be chosen to represent the state of New Jersey in the Olympic development program. “I was that guy, that young local star on his way up and it felt good,” said Maher. He added, “The best part was that my parents and my brothers were so proud and they enjoyed my success with me.”

Maher’s success followed him through his high school years. As a freshman, he excelled both on the soccer field and on the basketball court. In his junior year, he once again became “that guy” as the soccer team’s leading scorer and named the area’s most valuable player. On the hardwood, the stellar athlete led his team in winning a South Jersey championship followed by a state championship.

During his senior year, Maher one again excelled in both sports, however soccer was his true love. “Although I enjoyed basketball and excelled at it, I knew my love and my future was soccer,” said Matthew. On the court, he once again led Middle Township HS to a second consecutive South Jersey championship. On the soccer field, in only seven games played, he scored 20 goals while adding 11 assists.

Maher’s ongoing success would lead him and his father to make yet another big decision.
“We sat down and decided that Temple University would be right choice to continue my soccer career,” said Maher.

Entering college, Maher was once again labeled as “that guy”. The added pressure only motivated him to take his game to a higher level and he did just that. Maher was named to the Atlantic-10 Conference All Rookie team as a freshman.

“All of my accomplishments up to that point were due to soccer and I felt like the big man on campus, I felt untouchable,” said Maher. However, during his sophomore year, tragedy set in as one of his older brothers suddenly passed away at the age of 28, leaving behind a 4-month old daughter. “Instead of going home on winter break to relax from school, I went home to a funeral. I went home to a family in grief,” said Maher.

The loss of his brother gave Maher the determination to take his level of soccer to the next level. In January of 2007, the senior captain was faced with another big decision in his soccer career. Maher was the ninth pick in the first round of the college player draft and was to report that following March. Maher chose to remain at Temple and graduated that same May. It was a decision he ran by his parents, but at this point, the young adult needed to start making his own decisions.

Maher was drafted by the Philadelphia KiXX of the MISL in 2009, joining his older brother on the team. “I was that guy coming home in the community,” said Maher. “I played on national television in front of thousands of people. Kids wanted my autograph and parents invited me to their children’s birthday parties. It was an unbelievable feeling,” he added. All of his previous good decisions had finally paid off.

On March 1st of 2009 while playing for the KiXX, Maher tore his ACL and meniscus in his knee. Maher was now having thoughts that his playing career might be over due to this serious yet repairable injury. His moods became somber and depression set in. His decisions which followed would not only change his life forever but many others.

“A friend and I decided to go out to get my mind off of my injury,” said Maher. He added, “We went to several bars, catching up with old friends and having a few drinks.” One drink led to two which led to three. Shots of alcohol were lined up on the bar in front of him and this time the alcohol was making decisions for him.

Following these visits to local drinking establishments on that March evening, Maher and his friend decided to take a ride to Atlantic City. “I should have listened to my father’s good advice, but I didn’t,” said the soccer star. Instead of catching a cab and calling it a night, the two drove on the Atlantic City Expressway plowing into the back of another vehicle killing an innocent victim.

“I got out of my SUV and thought ok, I am alright and my passenger is alright so everything is ok,” said Maher. “I looked across the road and saw the other vehicle had flipped on its side. There were four men standing near the vehicle so I figured everyone was ok,” he added.

Maher was arrested at the scene, and while sitting in a jail cell he heard a dispatch conversation stating that the driver in the other vehicle was deceased. Maher now became “that guy” as reality was now setting in on what he had done.

Maher, now 26, was sentenced to 5 1/2 years in prison and is currently serving that time. “The experience thus far has changed everything I once thought about life,” said Maher.
In a somber voice he added, “I will be forever sorry for the innocent life that I was responsible for taking. One bad decision has flipped so many worlds upside down, especially the family and friends of the victim, Hort Kap.”

Today, life for Matt is far different from his days of being a hero out on the soccer field. He now spends his days and nights in a New Jersey state prison. “To be honest, I can’t believe I’m actually in prison. It can be a very chaotic environment at times but you learn to adapt to it and take each day as it comes. I try to control my thoughts throughout the day, setting my mind on Christ and being productive as much as possible.” said Maher. “I often think about what I have to do today to better myself for tomorrow.”

To better himself, Maher has maintained a group of friends in prison which he leans on for support. “Having an inner circle of friends has made things a little more comfortable here and I consider myself blessed to have gotten to know former NBA standout and fellow inmate Jayson Williams,” remarked Maher. “Jayson has really mentored me and made me see my future more clearly. His selfless attitude has been contagious and I look forward to hopefully making a difference in this world. Jay has sparked a new fire under me with his willingness to help others in a Christ-like manner,” added Maher.

Although his days are a repetition of meals, workouts, sleep and prayer, he also works within the correctional facility as a teacher’s assistant. On Thursday nights, Maher and Williams go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting which is one of several programs available to inmates to support any issues they wish to address while in prison.

Maher also hopes to one day take part in Project P.r.i.d.e., a program designed to take inmates into the community to speak to middle and high school students about their personal experiences with drugs and alcohol and the consequences of substance abuse.

Maher’s determination to tell his story both while in prison and following his release will hopefully make an impact on others. “If the opportunity presents itself, I would like to speak about my experience and lessons learned, stressing that decisions determine destiny,” said Maher.

“If people actually heard my story, they would see how remorseful I am and that I will try my hardest to turn an extremely negative situation into a positive,” said Maher.

For the Kap family, the loss of their father has altered their lives forever, however if any good can come of Maher’s selfish actions on that March evening, it would be Maher himself. Through teaching and sharing his experiences, Maher hopes to stop other young adults from making that same deadly decision.

As for Maher, he now sits and ponders as to when he can score another goal in the game of life, so that someday he will once again become “that guy.” The guy everyone once looked up to and admired.